For six months now, we have collectively fought my cancer with the support of the entire island, several fundraising events, home delivered good meals, childcare assistance and a whole lot of love.
Like a child who wakes on Christmas morning to a sea of sparkling wrapping paper, and the magic impression of Santa’s recent visit, I’ve had to pinch myself many times over the past 6 months to make sure I’m not dreaming. From the moment I was diagnosed with cancer on March 15th, to this very day, and I’m sure into the months to come, I have felt blanketed in Nantucket’s support. Despite the challenges my family and I have faced this year, my partner and I agree that we are two of the luckiest people in the world, cancer and all, for surely the love we have received has far outweighed the suffering we have endured.
During the first 3 months of my chemotherapy this spring my body crashed hard. Fatigued and in pain, I was often too exhausted to cook for my family. A meal train for us was set up online, and within a few days it was full. 2-3 nights a week from March through May members of this incredible community took care of us. Friends, coworkers, yoga students and people we didn’t even know put together thoughtful, often beautifully arranged, healthy meals that made us feel nurtured and supported.
To all of you, our deepest gratitude.
As my treatment journey continued and my health became more fragile, it was clear I would not be able to work. I closed my massage therapy practice for the time being and worried about loosing my teaching place at The Yoga Room. Much to my relief my employer and friend, Shannah Green, reassured me that she would keep my name on the schedule no matter what. My co-workers: Paul Bruno, Clay Twombly, Susan Browne, Bettina Broer and Patricia Dolloff, all took turns covering my regularly scheduled classes. They never questioned me if I said I was up to the challenge of teaching and were always there for me, even at the last minute, if I was too sick to show up.
When it was time for my double mastectomy in July, I was forced to rest for 6 weeks. During this time ever one of the teachers who taught my classes asked to put their earnings on my paycheck. Shannah began teaching a weekly seva class, gifting all of the proceeds directly to my family and I.
To Shannah and my co-workers at The Yoga Room, my deepest, deepest thanks.
It goes without saying that the foundation of my support at the darkest of times has come from my immediate family and my closest friends, but I would like to publicly acknowledge the bravery of my parents, Joanne and Steve Marcoux, the strength and compassion of my partner, Burr Tupper, and the pinch-hitting help of my ex-husband, Paul Budzynski. Without their support, I would have been lost at sea. Instead I been buoyed up by their love and confident that my little boy has been getting all that he needs to thrive when I am absent.
To my little boy, who perhaps will one day read this, thank you. Thank you for understanding about Mommy’s booboos, shaved head, low energy and “broken boobies” (though I’m still dying to figure out where you came up with or heard that one!). Thank you for offering to “buzz your hair” to show your solidarity. I’m sorI’m I’ve too too attached to your golden locks to let you do it. Thank you for keeping your sense of humor on the days we’ve had to wear face masks, and for making silly games out of the millions of times we had to wash our hands.
And thank you for all the hundreds if not thousands of warm little boy hugs your been giving me your whole life, but especially this year. Some times I feel it’s been a diet of your love alone that has pushed me through to the end of my hardest days.
It has taken many anchors to keep my ship grounded these past six months, and most recently a few strong captains to take the helm. On Sunday, September 15th, a team of incredible women including Shannah Green, Julie Hilberg-Hunt, Megan Soverino, Vanessa Raab Moore and Patti Cattafe put together a stunning silent auction event at the Cisco Brewery. Spearheaded by my dearest of friends, Elisa Allen, these ladies created the most beautiful and touching event I have ever been at the center of. Together they collected auction items from some of the most talented artists, skilled artisans and tradespeople, hardworking merchants, industry folk, restauranteurs and craftspeople on Nantucket. I cannot say how deeply touched I am by their efforts.
Thank you to the following people who donated their time and skills, contributed their wares or helped in any way to make this weekends fundraiser such a success:
Sally Bates Electric
Paul Bruno & Roaming Dog Yoga
Bettina Broer & Yoga with a View
Jessica Jenkins & Downtown Yoga
Patricia Dolloff Yoga
Megan DuBois Yoga
Burton Balkind & KindFlow Productions
Clay Twombly & Cambia Means Change
Cara DeHeart & Seaweaver
Ugne & Brandon Jellison and Authentic Body Therapy
Mindy Levin & Nantucket Family Chiropractic
Gary Konher & Nantucket Surf School
Christine Lee Pilates
Amber Hinds& Au Coeur Design
Emily Brooke Rubin Jewelry Design
Claudia Buttler & Ambrosia Chocolate & Spices
R.J. Miller’s & Ann Fitzgerald
Sarah Hutton Jewlery
Elise Gura & Space
Annye Camara & Annye’s Whole Foods
David Berry & The Nantucket Honeybee Co.
Dr. Buck Weaver
Thank you to the following people who helped before, during and after the event: Sky Wallace, Victoria Paige Ewing, Bettina Broer, Paul Bruno, Cate Raphael, Brad Nolen, Antitank Stefanski, Burton Balkind, Mike Allen, Erin Elizabeth, Heather Williams and Dina Warren.
Additionally, thank you to The Cisco Brewery, Jenny Bence of The Green and DJ Pete Ahern for making the day come together with spectacular style and tying it all together with the healing energy of phenomenal food, drink and great music.
To everyone who attended “Fight Back with Love” and to everyone who bid on the silent auction items, my most heartfelt thanks.
Incredible but true, the list goes on.
I’d like to thank Steve Tornovish of Krav Maga Nantucket for holding a special Women’s Self Defense class in my honor this summer, and to all the attendees for their generous donations – I bow to you. My deepest thanks.
To Ieva Aldins, of Dharma Yoga Nanatucket who taught one of her monthly Seva (charity) yoga classes for us this summer, thank you. And to the following yoga sisters and brothers who held donation yoga classes across the country in my honor throughout the last 6 months: Amber Cook at Moksha Yoga in Chicago, Larisa Foreman, Kate Greer and Nocile Burille at Krama Yoga in Cambridge, Alex Jarobe and Rachel Ann Gasner of the Yoga Pod, in Bolder, co. and my whole family or yoga teachers and fellow 500-YTT candidates at the Asheville Yoga Center in Asheville, NC. And to Jennifer Hrabota-Lesser for her Bujangasana t-shirt campaign, which also raised money for our charitable fund – thank you.
Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.
To Clay Twombly who made for me the most beautiful mala, thank you.
To my friends in Chicago, for dedicating this year’ Annual Shawn Koch Memorial Poker Run to my fight, thank you.
I’d also like to thank the following businesses for supporting my family and I directly: Dharma Yoga Nantucket for allowing me to take free yoga classes during my treatment, Pi Pizza, Susan McGinnis and The Center Street Bistro for feeding us on more than one occasion, Darya Afshari for cutting my hair and eventually shaving it off, Monika Rudnicka for giving me the most amazing facials throughout my chemotherapy, Sheri Perelman for Reiki, Casey Boukus for massage therapy and Jenny Bence for treating me to acupuncture with Tammy Belanger this spring.
Looking back a little, I’d like to Thank you to everyone who came out to Cisco on July 23rd for our Boob Voyage Party. Organizing that event gave me something to focus on other that my approaching surgery. Burr and Griffin and I will be moving out of our Heller’s Way home this spring, and I cant think of a better way we could have celebrated our time there. Funny how it took having cancer for us to finally throw a proper house party. Thanks to Doug Cote and Floyd Kellogg for our semi-pravate Lance Mountain Dance Party, what a blast.
In closing I’d like to thank every person who sent me a card, or mailed me a care package, left a note on my back door, a four leaf clovers or hand knitted socks in my mailbox, a CD in my car, flowers in my living room, taught a class in my honor, said a prayer for me, gave me a hug, picked my son up for a playdate, gave me a hug, was brave enough to ask me how I was, gave me a reassuring pat on the back and told me with certainty that I could win.
Today I can say that I am winning, and I’m winning because of you. This enchanted island truly is home to the kindest most compassionate people in the world. And while it may not seem lucky to have cancer, I consider myself so lucky to have had cancer here.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.